I recently was in the market for a new car.
I had driven my Nissan to almost 200,000 miles, and it didn’t make sense to put much more money into a car that was on its last leg. So I started looking for something that would fit my budget.
When I was younger, this process was a lot easier.
I was excited to buy something new. The car that was all black with black rims and was fast immediately grabbed my attention.
Did I do any extra research?
Nope.
Did I want to look around more?
Nope.
I found what I wanted and didn’t think twice.
Now, in my late 30s, I was working with a different budget. I wanted to buy something for cash, avoid a car payment, and find something safe and reliable that would hopefully last.
I still love cars and look at them all the time, but looking for cars that fit my budget and were reliable was a completely different job than it had been the last time I bought one.
So I started researching.
And researching.
And researching.
I looked for common problems, reviews, things to look for, people’s experiences, reliability, maintenance issues, and whatever else I could find.
And then something interesting happened.
I started finding everything that was wrong with everything.
Every car had problems.
Every model had somebody saying they had a horrible experience.
Every comment section had somebody telling me why I shouldn’t buy the car I was looking at.
The more I researched, the more overwhelmed I became.
I had always wanted a muscle car, or at least something fun and fast. That had been a big part of my previous car purchase.
This time, however, my budget was forcing me to think differently.
I started looking at reliable Toyotas and Hondas because I knew they had reputations for lasting a long time.
But then I’d read the comments.
Someone would say their Toyota had problems at 120,000 miles.
Someone else would say Hondas aren’t as good as they used to be.
Someone would tell me a certain engine had a known problem.
Then I’d look at another car that was supposedly notorious for problems and find somebody saying theirs had gone 200,000 miles with nothing but basic maintenance.
I even started thinking about my own Nissan.
It’s notorious for transmission problems, and I had driven mine roughly 100,000 miles past what I had been warned to expect.
So what was I supposed to believe?
Where is this story going?
Permission slips.
What Is a Permission Slip?
Permission slips are a concept I learned about that describes using something you hear or learn as permission to do something, think something, believe something, or make a decision.
And I realized I had been doing this with the car search.
When I was younger, the car being cool and fun was enough to give me permission to decide it was a good purchase.
This time, I was doing almost the opposite.
I had become so focused on finding potential problems that I was finding negative information everywhere.
My brain had gotten really good at looking for reasons not to buy something.
And that’s when I had to take a step back.
Because I realized something:
I could pretty much find whatever I wanted to use as a permission slip.
Someone would tell me the car was incredibly reliable.
Permission slip.
Someone else would tell me it had a major problem at 100,000 miles.
Permission slip.
Someone would tell me they had one that lasted 250,000 miles.
Permission slip.
Someone would tell me theirs blew up at 80,000.
Permission slip.
Eventually, I was going to have to make a decision.
There was no way to guarantee I was going to get the outcome I wanted.
I could buy the “unreliable” Nissan and get lucky.
I could buy the “bulletproof” Toyota and have something major go wrong.
There are no guarantees.
At some point, I had to make the best decision I could with the information I had and then see what happened.
Sometimes Your Permission Slip Is Exactly What You Wanted to Hear
When I eventually went to look at the cars, I checked out a Toyota Camry.
The guy selling it happened to be a Toyota Master Mechanic.
He had repaired the car himself.
He had rebuilt things using newer and better parts.
He knew the car inside and out.
I could ask him questions and he could explain exactly what had been done and why.
For the amount of money I was willing to spend, this was about as good of a situation as I could have hoped for.
And something clicked.
He became my permission slip.
But this time, it wasn’t simply permission to buy the thing I wanted.
He gave me permission to make the responsible decision I’d been struggling to make.
I realized that, for right now, what I actually wanted was something reliable, something in good shape, something that wasn’t going to become a money pit, and something that could potentially set me up to buy the fun car I really wanted down the road.
The fun car could wait.
And that was okay.
The Fitness Industry Is Full of Permission Slips
Here’s where this becomes relevant to you.
There is almost unlimited information available to you now that can validate whatever it is you already want to believe.
And the fitness industry is incredible at this.
You can find an influencer who will validate staying overweight because you should love your body exactly as it is.
You can find someone who will tell you the perfect diet for fat loss.
You can find someone who says a particular strength program is the only way to get strong.
You can find somebody who tells you one magical exercise will fix your pain.
You can find someone who promises the shortest, most efficient workout imaginable will triple your results while requiring almost no effort.
You can find someone who says lifting heavy is terrible for you.
You can find someone who says lifting heavy is the only thing that matters.
You can find somebody who says cardio is a waste of time.
You can find somebody else who says cardio is the most important thing you can do.
You can find people saying one style of training is complete garbage and other people saying that exact same style changed their lives.
Whatever you want to believe, somebody is probably willing to sell you permission to believe it.
And that’s dangerous.
Because sometimes you’re not actually looking for information.
You’re looking for permission.
Be Careful Who Is Signing Your Permission Slip
Sometimes your permission slip is somebody you trust.
Sometimes it’s an influencer who seems incredibly intelligent.
Sometimes it’s someone with a wall full of credentials.
Sometimes it’s somebody who looks fantastic and has the body you want.
Sometimes it’s someone in the medical field because you assume their education means they must know exactly what you should do.
Sometimes it’s simply someone who makes the workout process sound exciting.
None of those things automatically make the information wrong.
But none of them automatically make it right either.
The question is:
Does this information actually line up with what I’m trying to accomplish?
And perhaps more importantly:
Am I using this information to help me make a better decision, or am I using it to avoid something I already know I need to do?
That’s the distinction.
You need to learn how to sift through the permission slips.
If you’re new to training and don’t have much experience, get some help.
Find someone experienced.
Look for someone who isn’t completely dogmatic.
Someone who can explain why they’re recommending something.
Someone who can take your goals, lifestyle, experience and current abilities into account.
Then learn from them.
Don’t just blindly outsource your thinking to them.
First, Figure Out What You Actually Want
Before you decide who gets to influence you, figure out what you’re trying to accomplish.
Sit down and actually think about it.
What is the goal?
What are the options?
What approaches could potentially get you there?
Do some research.
Listen to different perspectives.
Then start narrowing things down.
Because there’s another trap waiting for you.
Information overload.
You keep researching.
Then you find another opinion.
Then another.
Then another.
Eventually you’ve heard so many conflicting arguments that you can’t make a decision.
You are now in analysis paralysis.
And here’s the ironic part:
Your research, which was supposed to help you make a decision, has become the thing preventing you from making one.
At some point, you have to step away from the research.
Clear your head.
Choose something reasonable.
And start.
You Don’t Learn Yourself by Thinking About Yourself Forever
This is where the Formula comes back in.
You can research the perfect program for the rest of your life.
You can read another hundred articles.
You can watch another thousand videos.
You can listen to another podcast.
Or…
You can pick something and fucking do it.
Because now you can start collecting your own data.
Maybe you chose the right approach.
Maybe you chose the wrong one.
Either way, you learned something.
You started the experiment.
And that’s the part people miss.
The goal isn’t to make the perfect decision before you begin.
The goal is to make a reasonable decision, begin collecting evidence, and get better at making decisions as you go.
Start the Process
You pick something.
You practice it.
You collect data.
You analyze what happened.
You edit the plan in real time.
You try again.
Then you do it again.
And again.
And every time you run the experiment, you aren’t just learning about the thing you’re experimenting with.
You’re learning about yourself.
You learn what you respond to.
You learn what you enjoy.
You learn what you hate.
You learn what you’re capable of.
You learn where you struggle.
You learn what environments help you succeed.
You learn which strategies actually fit your life.
And the next time you have to make a decision, you’re not starting from zero.
You have more information.
More experience.
More tools.
More self-knowledge.
You’re better at the process.
That’s the real progression.
Choose → Start → Collect Data → Analyze → Adjust → Repeat.
The process itself gets better.
And you get better at the process.
That’s how you eventually need fewer permission slips.
You don’t need somebody else to tell you what to do every time because you’ve developed enough experience to make better decisions yourself.
The Permission Slip Can Become a Crutch
There’s nothing wrong with getting advice.
There’s nothing wrong with listening to experts.
There’s nothing wrong with finding somebody you trust.
The problem is when you’re constantly looking for someone to give you permission to believe what you already want to believe.
Because then you’re not really learning.
You’re shopping for confirmation.
And there’s always another person online willing to sell it to you.
You can spend your entire life searching for the perfect answer.
Or you can choose a reasonable one, start collecting data, and learn.
Maybe it’s right.
Maybe it’s wrong.
It’s all data.
And if it’s wrong?
Good.
Now you know something you didn’t know before.
Adjust the Formula.
Run the experiment again.
The Goal Isn’t to Never Need Permission
I don’t think the answer is to completely ignore everybody.
Quite the opposite.
The goal is to become better at knowing whose permission is worth listening to.
And eventually, you become less dependent on permission at all.
Because you’ve built your own evidence.
You’ve practiced.
You’ve made mistakes.
You’ve corrected them.
You’ve learned your own patterns.
You’ve learned what works for you.
You’ve gotten better at separating useful information from bullshit.
And the next time you’re standing in front of a decision, you have a bigger toolbox and a better understanding of how to use it.
That’s capability.
You don’t become capable by finding the perfect answer before you start.
You become capable by starting, collecting evidence, learning, adapting and doing it again.
So be careful who is signing your permission slip.
But don’t spend forever looking for the perfect signature.
At some point, pick one and start.
Then let the data teach you what to do next.
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